The Long, Hard Off-Season

It's summer now, and the sports offseason has now hit us nationwide,

a time when normal people close their laptops, and actually go outside.

it makes finding stuff to write about can be tricky for us here at sports blogs

which is why I find myself at imgur, looking at funny pictures of dogs.

With no more basketball to watch, stupid rumors will fill the air,

So sportscenter will run 36 hours of "Dwight Howard wants to get traded where?"

I won't watch, since after the Heat won their title, I've basically gone numb,

I guess Dark Helmet was right..."evil always triumphs, because good is dumb".

In the long hot summer offseason, baseball is all we've got,

so I really have no choice but to convince myself the Indians have a shot.

But a quick read at some boxscores shows those hopes are full of lies,

and in the time it took you read this, Ubaldo has walked like, 3 more guys.

I can't watch the Crew on TV, and the Jackets are the worst team in hockey,

and will be, unless they can sign a Crosby, or maybe that huge Russian from 'Rocky'.

Being an Ohio sports fan means making peace with such terrible luck,

but usually the fall makes it all worth it, thanks to our beloved Bucks.

I couldn't wait to redeem last season, which left an emptiness in our souls,

I think we were under .500, and lost in something called a "Gator Bowl"

But thanks to the stupid NCAA, my dreams for this season are shattered,

Like with "Whose Line?", their rules are all made up, and now our games don't matter .

We can debate the wisdom of the ruling until our faces are blue,

"did we really deserve a bowl ban for some guys getting free tattoos?"

"are compliance investigators professionals, or just angry mob?"

"and most importantly, how the hell does Gene Smith still a job?"

Sure, we brought in Urban Meyer, a hire that should be worth every dime,

which means ideally we'll be able to move the ball more than two yards at a time.

Soon we may actually have a passing game, and not have to rely on silly stunts,

and I'll never again have to sarcastically cheer for another TresselBall punt.

I'll still like this upcoming season though, still cheer and watch the games,

and when we beat Michigan and Wisconsin, I'll still enjoy it all the same.

But I can't shake that disappointment though, that our season will be prematurely over...

That after New Years, when we should be bowling, we'll all just be plain ol' hungover.

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