Know your enemy of your enemy: how Ohio State's opponents fared in week five

Here is your week 5 rundown on how everyone did:

Miami Ohio (3-2) BEAT Akron 56-49. This was actually an awesome game. Miami's Justin Semmes scored on a 3 yard TD run with 1:04 left, then Akron drove all the way to the Miami 38 before their hail mary was picked off to end the game. Zac Dysert put Geno Smith-like numbers, torching Akron for 516 yards passing, 6 TDs, and then another 108 yards rushing just because he could. The Zips are nothing is not entertaining this year, as they rolled up 629 yards offense of their own, paced by QB Dalton Williams' 446 yards and 4 TDs. I believe the kids refer to games like as sweet sweet MACtion. The Redhawks take their aerial show down the road next week to face the undefeated Cincinnati Bearcats.

UCF (3-2) LOST to Missouri 21-16. The Knights had all sorts of opportunities to win this game, but the Tigers were able to pull off just enough big plays to steal the win on the road. UCF recorded five sacks and held the ball almost the entire game, but a fumble with 2:20 left killed their final drive. Missouri also returned a punt for a TD and had an 80 yard TD catch to offseat Black Bortles 267 yards passing and 2 TDs. The good news for Buckeye fans is that UCF should be favored in every other game they play this season. They'll start with the East Carolina Pirates next week.

CAL (1-4) LOST to Arizona State 27-17. The Sun Devils rode a strong performance from Taylor Kelly and a relentless pass rush leading to an completely ineffective Zack Maynard to send the Golden Bears to the worst start since 2001. Maynard was sacked five times and held to 9/28 for a measly 126 yards, and Cal was also penalized 12 times for 126 yards. Kelly threw 26/45 for 292 and 3 TDs. Cal doesn't have any more games against directional Utah schools this season, but hey, at least that stadium looks great! The Golden Bears get their next shot at making OSU look a little better against UCLA next week.

UAB (0-4) LOST to Tulsa 49-42. No shame for the improving Blazers here, after giving what may be the best CUSA team not named UCF a run for their money. UAB came back from a 42-28 deficit, and had a shot to tie the game before fumbling near midfield with a minute left in the game. Austin Brown had a great game QBing the Blazers, going 20/30 for 337 yards, a pick and 3 TDs, including a 50 yard bomb. 3 turnovers, over 100 yards in penalties and the 478 total yards from the Golden Hurricane proved to be too much to pull off the upset though. The Trogdors get a great chance to break into the win column when they take on FCS Southeastern Louisiana next week.

Michigan State (3-2, 0-1) LOST to Ohio State 17-16. Sparty faces Indiana next week.

#21 Nebraska (4-1, 1-0) BEAT Wisconsin (3-2, 0-1) 30-27. This was clearly a tale of two halves. In the first half, Joel Stave was slinging the ball all over the field, Montee Ball was moving the chains, the Badgers jumped to a 20-3 lead and I started with the "LOLOMGWTF texts to friends". Nebraska remembered how to play rush defense in the second half, handcuffing Montee Ball to 90 yards on 32 carries (although he did score 3 times), and T-Magic and company led the Cornhuskers back on top. Joel Stave was benched in the second half after being in more ineffective than normal. Nebraska tussles under the lights in Columbus next week to determine who the best B1G team is right now, while Wisconsin battles Illinois.

Indiana (2-2, 0-1) LOST to #24 Northwestern 44-29. This was actually a pretty interesting game. Northwestern totally dominated the first half, jumping to a 27-0 lead, thanks to Kain Colter deciding to play every single position for the Wildcats. Then Indiana switched to Nate Sudfield at QB, and the Hoosiers promptly rallied. Indiana cut the deficit as to 37-29 late in the game, but Colter slammed the door with a 22 yard TD run with 5 left to play. Northwestern piled up a school record 704 yards of offense, thanks to Colter's 161 yards rushing and 131 yards catching. Indiana now has the most losses of any FBS school. Getting the loss record while losing to the NERDS? How embarrassing. Indiana faces Michigan State next, while Northwestern travels to Penn State.

Purdue (3-1, 0-0) BEAT Marshall 51-41. It looked like Purdue had this game well in hand, as they rolled up a 42-14 going into halftime behind strong performance from QB Caleb Terbush (4 TDs). The explosive Marshall offense wasn't going to give up that easily though, and the Thundering Herd stormed back behind a blocked punt and 439 passing yards from QB Rakeem Cato. Purdue returned 2 Marshall passes for TDs of their own though, and got just enough defense to win a wild game. Marshall may be an excellent passing team, but Purdue cant feel good about giving up 534 yards at home to anybody, especially not a CUSA team with a losing record. The Boilermaker defense will get another stiff test next week when they face Michigan.

Illinois (2-3, 0-1) LOST to Penn State (3-2, 1-0) 35-7. The Nittany Lions won the inaugural "Tim Beckman is kind of a dick" bowl going away. PSU Lineback Mike Mauti, one of the more vocal opponents of Beckman's recruiting trips to Penn State, picked up some measure of justice by picking off Nate Scheelhasse twice. The Nittany Lions got solid production from the ground, as Zack Zwinak went for 100 and 2 TDs, and the defense handcuffed a reeling Illini side, keeping them scoreless until late in teh 3rd quarter. Illinois may just be getting healthy, but their defense has not been nearly as good as advertised, and if they can't get more balanced offensive production soon, they may end up being the worst team in the Big Ten. Penn State battles Northwestern next week, Illinois gets Wisconsin

Michigan (2-2, 0-0) Michigan gave up 315 yards rushing to Bye Week, but managed to hold on for the win. Or something. They play Purdue next week.

Also, Iowa beat Minnesota last week.