Gerry Sandusky is not that Jerry Sandusky. While it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure this out given his many years in sports media, his being sports programming director at a major Baltimore radio station, his being the voice of the Baltimore Ravens, and, well, a painfully clear Twitter bio making that fact plain as day, that hasn't stopped the impulsive, ignorant underbelly of the internet from doing what they do best.
The *good* news is that the vast majority of his at tweet feed has now turned into people wishing him the best, admiring the grace with which he's handled an unfair situation, and condemning those too lazy intellectually to read a 140 character bio. Alas, even now, nearly a week removed from the other Sandusky's verdict, there's still plenty of reason to lose faith in humanity once again.
(Forewarning: much of what's sampled below and after the jump contains graphic language and obscenity. Reader discretion is advised):
@GerrySandusky You can go to hell after what you did to those boys
— Buddha (@BuddhaSwagg) June 28, 2012
Not very Buddhist of him, I'll give him that. But as he does from time to time (which given the sheer volume flooding his timeline can't possibly reflect enough on the man's character), good guy Gerry Sandusksy jumps into explain the situation... To little avail:
@GerrySandusky well then I hope for your sake you don't turn out like your dad Jerry Sandusky
— Buddha (@BuddhaSwagg) June 28, 2012
/Head slap.
Sadly, it gets worse.
@GerrySandusky Is this the Jerry Sandusky, child rapist extraordinaire?
— Maverick (@BigBirmingham6) June 28, 2012
There are just too many things wrong with that inquiry to mention. I digress.
@GerrySandusky Looking to have a soap fight in the showers tonight Jerry. Help me out, I haven't felt your touch since Saturday. Horny.
— Matt Brian (@HiMyNameIsLuebs) June 28, 2012
This individual has sadly made a D-grade humor game of harassing Sandusky having sent three or four others in the last couple days alone. Don't worry champ, I'm sure you "S#$* My Dad Says"-esque big pilot break is just another tone deaf child molestation joke away.
@GerrySandusky y'all are the same people damn homo
— John countiss (@JohnCountiss56) June 28, 2012
This individual appears to be a high school football player. He also seems content on fulfilling every dumb jock stereotype known to man.
@GerrySandusky Homo homo homo
— John countiss (@JohnCountiss56) June 28, 2012
Hate speech fever. Catch it!
@GerrySandusky well any who have fun in prison "Gerry"
— Ryan Cavin (@BONE_Z1LLA) June 28, 2012
Even when Gerry tries to explain the situation logically, many of these folks are beyond reason or reproach. Shoot first, ask questions later. Or just don't ask questions and continue to embrace ignorance as bliss. You know, whatever.
@GerrySandusky what is wrong with you. Shame
— CRH (@chorncast) June 28, 2012
Sweet cognitive dissonance... I don't even.
@GerrySandusky i cant believe you have the gull to be on twitter after the heinous crimes u comitted come on man
— Randy Click (@LetsGoBuffaloo) June 28, 2012
I'm not saying anyone deserves Chan Gailey their coach as that would just be cruel, but...
@GerrySandusky HOW COULD YOU DO THAT TO ALL THEM KIDDS.
— Dildo Malone (@InjunSteveO) June 27, 2012
Hard hitting questions from user, 'Dildo Malone'.
@GerrySandusky can't believe you're allowed near boy swimmers. When does your prison sentence start?
— Truth (@YouAintGonna) June 27, 2012
As have many of us, Sandusky's been watching some of the Olympic qualifying. And while I guess there are some underaged prospective Olympians, um...
Which leads us to the crown jewel of all, a hate in her heart fueled lady with the username @JessicaPaden01:
@GerrySandusky you're a disgusting vile human being I hope you get butt raped in jail for what you did
— paden (@JessicaPaden01) June 26, 2012
Gerry wants to reason with her, because, you would too if your name was Gerry Sandusky, but worry not, her lunatic fringe cohorts in myopia are down to expose the real truth:
@GerrySandusky @JessicaPaden01 Nice trick you tried to pull. We know the truth you sack of shit.
— Adam Unfiltered (@Adam_Unfiltered) June 27, 2012
@GerrySandusky and you're a liar. I know what you did, we all do. one letter change isn't a very good disguise
— paden (@JessicaPaden01) June 26, 2012
There's no getting past Jessica, you guys. But as mentioned the vast majority of folks dialoguing with him now are clearly on his side. That doesn't meant there aren't some gems amongst them yet:
@GerrySandusky u may not b that guy. But the ravens still suck. Go Pats
— MacEwan™ (@mikemac26) June 28, 2012
Sports!
@GerrySandusky dude I hate to say this,but I think youre gonna have to delete your Twitter. hen sue the other Sandusky for ruining your name
— Sam Gargaro (@Bruins5776) June 28, 2012
Decreed the full grown man in the Insane Clown Posse makeup.
Either way, Gerry Sandusky with a 'G' continues to handle an otherwise absurd situation with great aplomb. Here's hoping the tide of stupid wanes sooner rather than later.