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Michigan Football Still Preseason Top 5 In Excessive Whiteness

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#annarborproblems
#annarborproblems

Big fan of Carly Rae Jepsen? Who? Oh, right, the "Call Me Maybe" girl. Worry not, the University of MIchigan athletic department has you more than covered:

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In all honesty, the football wing of the sports information department would've been better off citing one of the following top of the charts jams:

  • "Home" by Phillip Phillips. I've never heard this song and honestly don't really know what it is, but having virtually the same boring first name as last seems incredibly Michigan.
  • "Whistle" by Flo Rida. Because Brady Hoke has a whistle. Get it? GET IT?! oijalsdoiadsflasd
  • "I Will Wait" by Mumford & Sons. If you enjoy the inoffensive Tebowcore stylings of Mumford & Sons, you have at least an 85% chance of being a sidewalk Wolverine.
  • "Some Nights" by Fun. Or is it fun.? I know, the faux-tribal drums might upset the cornbread sensibilities of the greater South Central Michigan area, but you can't possibly tell me these guys don't have some Ann Arbor in them:
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Hail.
  • "Wide Awake As Long As You Love Me Good Time One More Night" by Katy Perry Bieber Owl City Maroon 5. Confused? Ask a Wolverine.