Ohio State football: Haunted basement bedroom contains numerous Buckeye artifacts

By now you've surely heard about the Ohio State students who found a stranger living in their basement.

According to The Lantern, the students found "a bedroom complete with framed photographs and textbooks" behind a door that they initially thought led to a storage closet. Real R.L. Stine-type shit.

Of course, no bedroom is complete with just photos and textbooks, so this seemed a woefully inadequate description of the room's contents. As such, we sent an undercover reporter to the scene to unearth EVERYTHING. This is what we found:

• Ray Small
• Eddie Rife's M.B.A.
• @BdubsTriviaGuru
• Bigggggg Mike
• Joe Bauserman's humerus
• Laura Quinn's split A.J. Hawk/Brady Quinn jersey
• Kettle corn
• A threatening message scribbled on a napkin by Art Schlichter
• Stale bow tie cookies
• The Glenville pipeline
• Sharks
• Jake Stoneburner and Jack Mewhort's urine
• Trev Alberts
• Mike Hart's heart (NOTE: very small; unable to love)
• Multiple f-bombs graffitied onto the floor, presumably by Bo Pelini
• Chapstick
• Dinosaur bones
• Luke Fickell's hot seat, circa November 13, 2011 (the day after this) (MINT CONDITION)
• Terrelle Pryor's letter of intent, mistakenly addressed to the "University of Ohio State"
• Justin Zwick's pet rock, Alberto
• OBIE STILLWELL'S HAT

And many, many more things that were way too gruesome to report.