I have a confession to make. I don't really know what ComFest is. I've lived in central Ohio most of my life, including 5+ years in Columbus, and it's still a mystery to me. I know it's some sort of festival. I know it happens in the summer. I know people like it. That's pretty much it, and I doubt that I'm the only one who is confused. In this modern day and age, though, finding answers to questions is easy. I have the whole of the Internet at my fingertips, and what better place is there to find answers than Twitter? Let's see what we can find.
According to its official Twitter page (@ComFest), it's "a party with a purpose." That's not very helpful, really. I mean, a lot of parties have purposes. Bachelor parties have a purpose. Birthday parties have a purpose. Even the Republican Party has a purpose. We're going to have to delve a little deeper if we want to find the answers that we seek. Let's see what sort of tweets and retweets we've got from @ComFest.
One of their first RTs is a link to this Instagram post:
Somehow, I'm even more confused. What does #catsofinstagram have to do with this weekend? If this were just a giant cat party, my sister definitely would have mentioned it to me by now. We're no closer to finding the purpose. I guess we're going to have to keep looking.
If we keep scrolling along, we find another RT from the ComFest account:
Wait, so now face tattoos are involved? Also, who wants a face tattoo? Even if it is temporary. Face tattoos make me think of face painting, which brings to mind either the circus or someone's 7th birthday party. I doubt that's the purpose of this weekend, though, as no one is excited about either the circus or a 7th birthday party, especially not adults. I'll have to dig deeper.
Now I kind of do want to go to Comfest and watch the mucus free guy's talk, while sitting back and eating a fishboat and drinking a beer— The Nearest Hippie (@WindingDot) June 24, 2015
I'm just going to leave that one alone.
Let's leave their Twitter feed and try searching for tweets from people talking about Comfest. Surely they will know what they're excited about, right?
THAT DOESN'T HELP ME AT ALL, BORROR SHORT NORTH. WHAT IS THE PURPOSE? I'm starting to think that nobody really knows.
Comfest. pic.twitter.com/vn2JkPnAWj— sky❁ (@brdly16) June 26, 2015
That's just a selfie, @brdly16. That doesn't help me at all.
Comfest ready pic.twitter.com/BNwAv1VOHs— Sam(lord farsquad) (@SamFromKroger) June 26, 2015
Wait, that's just a selfie, too. What's going on here, people? Stop posting pics and answer my questions. What is ComFest, and what does "a party with a purpose" actually mean? And what was with all those cat shirts?
Salty af I'm not going to comfest— K.W✨ (@kayy_woodard) June 26, 2015
This doesn't really tell me what it is, though it is interesting that missing ComFest can make you "salty af." Should I be salty af that I've not gone to ComFest these past 27 years? That's a lot of pent-up saltiness that I didn't even know I had.
Went to comfest, got late night slice, and left— Sydney (@itssydneybabbee) June 26, 2015
So is that it? Is ComFest about getting pizza? Not gonna lie, if it is a pizza fest, then I will be pretty salty about having missed it all these years. And if it isn't a pizza fest, why isn't there one? Does anyone want to help me set up the first annual Columbus PizzaFest? Reynoldsburg has a Tomato Festival every year; why can't we have one for pizza?
So I didn't find out what the purpose of the party is. Everyone seems pretty excited, though, which I guess is as much of an excuse as you need to have a weekend-long celebration. If you're in Columbus, and you have some free time this weekend, you should probably go check it out. Do it for me, since I won't be there myself.