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Braxton Miller will announce immediate plans next week?

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Sound the alarm. It's time for more Braxton Miller speculation.

Greg Bartram-USA TODAY Sports

The story that just won't die, Braxton Miller's mostly Twitter hyperbole transfer drama, has a new chapter.

Wednesday evening before a long holiday weekend, Miller tweeted that he'd met with famed surgeon Dr. James Andrews (who'd performed his most recent procedure) with the kind of emojis that would seem to otherwise prompt optimism amongst Ohio State faithful. The tweet was mostly ignored outside social media, but the intrepid Tim May of the Columbus Dispatch went one step further and reached out to Miller for comment on what the tweet meant exactly.

And that's where things get interesting --  or not! But maybe.

Miller replied to May -- the medium isn't exactly clear -- that he "expects to announce his immediate plans next week".

Panic! Or don't.

The delta between "will talk to the media locally for the first time in 18 months" versus "is immediately announcing his departure for greener pastures" is wider than the 270 loop, but what exactly that announcement looks like could be almost anything in between. May doesn't exactly clarify beyond that, though we all know there's been a laundry list of people affiliated with Miller (practically everyone but the quarterback himself) saying they expect him to be back in Columbus next year, like Gene Smith, or Urban Meyer, or Braxton's dad.

That said, what an exciting time to be alive. Maybe you're prone to fueling paranoia because you're self hating and generally expect the worst in all aspects of your life. Perhaps you went to community college in Michigan and besides painting Ohio State fans as Colin Cowherd listeners, this is the highlight of your summer. Or maybe you just count your heroes as the principle players of ESPN's First Take. Whatever the reason for your aspirations to be the antihero of your Fourth of July barbecue, the stage has been set; it's your time to shine.

Now hopefully after next week we never have to speak of this ever again.

★★★

UPDATE: ESPN's Adam Rittenberg spoke to Ohio State athletic director Gene Smith who reiterated he expects Miller to stay at Ohio State: