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Why you always lying? There's nothing wrong with Ohio State's offense

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Seriously.

Stop f'ing lying
Stop f'ing lying

Take a deep breath and repeat after me: there is nothing wrong with Ohio State's offense.

Yeah, what you saw on Saturday was at times frustrating. No one's denying that.

But as it turns out, it's incredibly hard to go on the road, play three-and-a-half hours against a gritty, physical defense like Virginia Tech's, and then turn around four days and change later and look the part against even a lower-tier Mountain West Conference team.

I think even the most untrained eye could pick up that the Buckeyes greatest struggles this past Saturday came on the offensive line. And good news! The offensive line is on entirely the same page. They also agreed that the task at hand was difficult to ask of 18-22 year olds, no matter how talented.

But wait: Though if you're still upset, you're probably getting even more so at perceived "excuse making", I'm pretty sure this isn't that. Sometimes even the best offenses at all levels of football don't operate fully optimally. And sometimes even a pair of Heisman caliber quarterbacks look much less than that at face value.

Without getting too Aaron Rodgers-y, it's a good idea for everyone to just take a deep breathe and let this thing come together. If we're still saying these kind of things, say, in Week 6. Sure. There's perhaps something serious wrong. But let's get back to the here and now.

Maybe that carefree guy whose carefree act/attitude didn't bother you before he was averaging *only* 5.5 yard per carry is starting to irk you and make you think the other guy is the better option (particularly at well, running the option). While I might be inclined to argue that's a premature overreaction, I'd encourage you to go back and look at last season before you determine Cardale Jones is incapable of running the same offense J.T. Barrett did a season prior.

Want to guess what Barrett averaged per carry a year ago? I'll save you the click: 5.5 yards per carry.

But okay, if you want to bang the small sample size drum, we're right back where we started: It's still too early to have as definitively a pointed opinion as you have.

Urban Meyer and the Ohio State brain trust have earned our patience. Yes, even with the principal play caller (whom many of the same types mad now were more than happy to criticize before the final three or four games of last season) off beating Bobby Petrino coached teams with one of his own.

There's always going to be some degree of evolution and there's always going to be steps forward and steps back. But when Urban Meyer was telling anyone who'd listen that both guys are interchangeable and that the offense didn't look meaningfully different with one or the other under center, it wasn't a false flag or distraction technique. The early returns, as unsatisfactory as they've been to some, still suggest that hiccups and all, he wasn't lying.

So what about Ezekiel Elliott? Why hasn't the would-be Heisman favorite in his own right started 2015 the same way he ended the 2014 campaign?

Probably in no small part because what he did (particularly against the defenses he did it) was so ahistorical barely anyone else has ever done it. Sophomore running backs whose totals against Illinois and Rutgers grade out favorably as 'nice' usually don't average over 230 yards per contest in three consecutive championship type game events.

But what's he's done through two games is not exactly Lydell Ross territory either. For all his limited touches against Virginia Tech and a pedestrian average against Hawaii, Elliott's still totaled 223 yards and four touchdowns in Ohio State's first two games of the young season. If that's disappointing, I suspect you recalibrate your expectations.

Unfortunately, my best guess is that if all of this is still lost on you, if you're still convinced that the the guy with three national championships to his name doesn't know what he's doing and if you're more than sure that you and not the guys with decades of experience running football offenses know the secret to what makes this particular one ticks, I really only have one thing left to say (NSFW):