Dear Virginia Tech,
Hey. Haven't seen you in a while. How are things? Is your 2015 going well so far? So, we've got a game coming up later today. I'm sure you've heard. Before we play, though, we just want to say a few things.
We wanted to do great things last season. Granted, we did do great things last season, but you made that waaaaaaaay more complicated than we'd have liked it to be. Do you know what it's like to hear "But what about Virginia Tech?" every time your championship potential is discussed? I mean, you went 7-6 last season. You only won three games in the ACC. You lost to Wake Forest, you guys. Wake Forest. Do you know how many games the Demon Deacons won last year? Three. They beat you, Army, and whatever Gardner-Webb is. It sounds like an online prep school, or a law firm that specializes in DUI cases. That's not exactly elite company, Hokies.
I mean, sure, you had some good wins. You beat us. You beat No. 19 Duke. You beat Cincinnati in a bowl game. You pulled off a winning season. Not bad. It was just super annoying, is all. So we'd like to apologize in advance for tonight's game.
Look, I'm not saying that us winning is a guaranteed thing. We're only favored by a touchdown or two. Due to injuries and suspensions, we're going to be down big-name starters, and you guys have a pretty solid defense. I'm just saying that we're going to be playing with a chip on our shoulders.
We don't just need to win this because we want to win them all. We need revenge. We need to remind the world why we're the unanimous AP No. 1 team. We need to show them all that it doesn't matter who our quarterback is or which ones are playing new positions. The season hasn't even started yet, and people are already hating on us. Talk of a repeat is already marred by complaints of our strength of schedule. I guess some things never change.
So basically, what I'm saying is that we're sorry for how mean our fans may be as we get closer to the game. We're sorry for making you play the biggest game of your season on day one. (Sorry, East Carolina. I'm sure your game is important in its own way.) Sorry for making you play against an offense of eleven quarterbacks playing different positions. It's not personal. Okay, maybe it's a little personal after last year. We just really want to win.
But who knows? Maybe we should be thanking you. After all, losing to you last season made us perpetual underdogs on the national scene. No one thought a team that lost to the Hokies could be the best in the nation (no offense), yet we're the ones who took home the trophy, not them. There's no motivation quite like being told that you aren't good enough.
So thank you. And sorry. See you tonight.
The (defending national champion) Ohio State University