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I Got 5 on it: Northwestern goes goth


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For 90s babies like myself, seeing the Hot Topic logo brings back a flood of memories.

Your awkward teen years. Those disgusting convertible cargo pants/shorts that were a somehow a thing in the mid-2000s. Hitting the mall and debating how much stuff you should steal with your friends. Sprite Remix. Axing long-term friendships because they started listening to Slipknot. Good times.

Anyway, this has nothing to do with Ohio State playing Northwestern tonight, other than the Wildcats are wearing some Hot-Topic ass uniforms, and I’m all out of other column ideas. Here are the five other bad ideas on my mind before tonight’s game:

Friday night lights

Am I the only one not mad online at Ohio State playing on a Friday night? I get that it totally sucks for Ohio high school football. Fridays should be for them and I completely understand the backlash on that front. My counterpoint: I’m selfish as hell. Ohio State playing on a Friday night means I can knock out the recap podcast for this game around midnight, get seven hours of sleep, and start drinking Busch Light from 9:00 a.m. ET until the last Mountain West game ends. Sounds like a win for everyone.

The real problem with taking away from high school football is that almost none of these Friday night conference games are compelling matchups. Until the Big Ten can convince two of Ohio State/Michigan/Michigan State/Penn State/Wisconsin/Nebraska/Iowa to play each other on a Friday, it’s hard to justify that it’s worth it (Outside of the “WE’RE MAKING LARGE DOLLARS FROM THIS, WE DON’T CARE ‘BOUT NO DAMN KIDS,” response the conference will never admit).

At least this isn’t a 3:30 kick ¯\_(ツ)_/¯.

Gothic style

Since Ohio State can’t count on Nike designs from Hot Topic to match Northwestern’s look, this graphic will have to do:

(We can only hope tonight’s camera angles are better)

Shaun Wade is a bad, bad man

As the official President of Shaun Wade Hive, it’s my obligation to keep you updated on everything #24. I have good news: this economy is BOOMING.

Wade’s probably the most versatile player on this defense. His ability to cover, blitz, and tackle gives Jeff Haffley and Greg Mattison a valuable piece to move around, and frees up the rest of the secondary to make plays. For all the (rightful) talk about Chase Young and Jeff Okudah, Wade is right there, and it feels like he’s only getting better as the season goes on.

I don’t know what all that means for this game since Northwestern can’t throw, but the point is that Shaun Wade is a stud, and you should appreciate him while you can.

Strong start?

Don’t let the 28-point line fool you: This game could be a bit of a pain in the ass. For all of Northwestern’s offensive struggles, the defense is a top-five unit. They’ve got a couple dudes on the interior, and Pat Fitzerald’s managed to keep the last three games relatively close. The best way to avoid another one of these is score early.

If I want to get nit-picky —and I always do— that’s the big thing I’m looking for here. For the first 15 minutes of the Michigan State game, Ohio State’s offense looked confused and got pushed around. They deserve credit for figuring things out and turning on the afterburners for the rest of the game, but I have a feeling we’d be a bit more concerned about that start if Michigan State’s offense wasn’t Michigan State’s offense. Northwestern has similar offensive problems, but also a good enough defense to cause the same trouble Sparty did early on.


Ohio State playing at Northwestern makes me think of this, and this only: