I told you in last week’s I Got 5 on it that I had no idea what I was going to write this week for the Rutgers game. How do you write 1000 words about a matchup that Ohio State’s won by a combined score of 271-27 the last five years? What could I possibly even say about Rutgers for a full column, outside of making poor Greg Schiano photoshops? Then, it hit me. Like thousands of other lazy writers, I decided that the best idea was to make a list. Not just any list, but a list of the five greatest moments in Ohio State/Rutgers series history, which spans all the way back to *checks calendar* five years ago.
Laugh all you want, but there’s some hidden gems in here I promise you’ll appreciate. So without further ado, let’s re-live some classic moments:
5. The day Ohio State got an extra bye week every season
Please enjoy this snippet of the Associated Press article when Rutgers announced joining the Big Ten:
- Rutgers still seems incapable of competing at the highest level.
- It’s easy to just focus on football, but almost all Rutgers sports were very bad the second they joined.
- Rutgers is totally going to announce Greg Schiano is coming back in a couple weeks, and we’ll get to do this all over again seven years late.
- I know these games always suck, but Rutgers being in the east essentially gives Ohio State an extra bye every year. Could Ohio State win a game by 30 with their third stringers? Could DeMario McCall play quarterback and throw for 250 yards against a power five defense? In theory, this is the week to find out.
4. Michigan, you honestly make it too easy sometimes
3. Evan Spencer only needs one hand
The only actual offensive play on this list, and really the only one that matters. This tells you all you need to know about the Ohio State/Rutgers series:
2. SHOOT THE CANNON
In what must’ve been a truly dreadful slate of college football that weekend, the 2015 game somehow ended up on ABC in prime time. Unsurprisingly, things got ugly quick, and with 4 minutes left, Chris Fowler and Kirk Herbstreit decided to de-rail the whole damn broadcast:
The poor Rutgers cannon crew. These guys sat in silence while Ohio State fans rained down, “SHOOT THE CANNON!” chants on them, thanks in part to this ABC cameraman 100 percent egging it all on:
A couple minutes later, everyone got their wish:
Thank you for your service, Rutgers cannon crew.
1. Chris Ash is horrified
This brings us to the greatest moment in Ohio State/Rutgers series history. To be honest, this is the only reason I wanted to write this column. Rutgers was in the midst of a 4-8 2017 season, and second year Head Coach —and old friend— Chris Ash was looking for any small victory he could get. Down 56-0 with less than a minute left, Ash sent his field goal unit onto the field to avoid a shutout loss. Then this happened:
Lowkey top moment of the 2017 season was Chris Ash's horrified reaction to Rutgers doinking a kick, down 56-0 pic.twitter.com/HDJXNACw4k— Colton Denning (@Dubsco) July 13, 2018
A few things here:
- The doink. Maybe the most Rutgers way for a game to end.
- Ohio State’s priceless reaction to the doink.
- The moment Chris Ash truly realizes he’s at Rutgers:
There you have it. The five greatest moments in Ohio State/Rutgers history, two of which aren’t even from Ohio State games. Making this list was as excruciating as I’m sure it was for you to read, but do you expect anything less —or is it more?— from me during Rutgers week? Anyway, let’s enjoy Ohio State’s 60-point win tomorrow, and remember to pour one out for the Rutgers cannon crew.