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‘Twas the Night Before Christmas: Ohio State 2020 style

With ‘ma in her ‘kerchief, and you in your cap, just settle your brains for this dumb Buckeye rap.

PAM PRICE/AFP via Getty Images | Ralph Freso/Getty Images (Ryan Day)

‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the ‘Shoe
No one knew what to make of this team, even you;
The season had been such a mess from the start,
That with Clemson up next, there’s some doubt in my heart.

The players have dealt with historic delays,
From the Big Ten to COVID to 21 days.
At the start of the season, expectations were high,
Fields was back behind center, need you even ask why?

When out on the field some things never did click,
This team had some flaws that were evident quick.
But despite the shortcomings, they continued to win,
Though, the problems on defense came again and again.

And on offense they missed a Zeke or J.K.,
Thinking they’d have to win by throwing all day.
When what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a record-breaking back who had found a new gear.

With a recovered head coach, fired up, I must say,
I knew in a moment it must be Ryan Day.
More excited than normal, his curses they came,
and he whistled and shouted, called each out by their name.

“I don’t care if it’s Clemson, Alabama, Notre Dame,
We’re gonna fucking beat their ass, in our very next game.

Now Justin! Now Sermon!
Now, Olave and Wilson!
On Haskell! On Tommy!
On, Shaun and on Werner!
To the top of the polls!
To the top of foot-ball!
Now beat their ass! Beat their ass!
Beat their ass all!”

Now before you email and yell at me that I cut off the second half of the poem, the Buckeyes have only played half a season, so they only get half a poem. Deal with it!

After some unexpected start and stops, I am back to posting a column almost every single day from preseason camp until whenever Ohio State’s football season ends. Some days they will be longer and in depth, some days they will be short and sweet. Let me know what you think of this one, and what you’d like to see me discuss in the comments or on Twitter. Go Bucks!