Everybody knows that one of the best parts of being a sports fan is debating and dissecting the most (and least) important questions in the sporting world with your friends. So, we’re bringing that to the pages of LGHL with our favorite head-to-head column: You’re Nuts.
In You’re Nuts, two LGHL staff members will take differing sides of one question and argue their opinions passionately. Then, in the end, it’s up to you to determine who’s right and who’s nuts.
Today’s Question: What’s the best non-football activity to indulge in during the off week?
Context: Yesterday, Brett and Meredith debated which college football game they were most excited for this weekend, with Ohio State having an off week. So that got Matt and Jami wondering if we, as Buckeye fans, were actually allowed to do something other than watch football on a fall Saturday, whether OSU was playing or not.
They decided that they were, and befitting who they are as individuals, both Matt and Jami picked options that lined up perfectly with their personalities and interests.
Jami’s Take: Spooky Movie Marathon
With Ohio State’s bye week falling smack in the middle of Spooky Season, there’s no better way to spend your Saturday than by holding a Halloween movie marathon. Invite your friends over, cuddle up with your partner and/or your kids, or fly solo, but no matter how you roll, it’s the perfect way to spend a Saturday in October when the Buckeyes aren’t playing.
For starters, it’s seasonally appropriate and it’s an excuse to stay cozy all day on the couch - just like you would if you were watching the Buckeyes. You can get housework done in the meantime or you can day drink if that’s more your thing. You can even take breaks to check the scores of other games between movies (Matt, is this cheating?).
I love scary movies, but I also don’t need to watch a slasher film at 9 AM, so my recommendation is to ease your way in with something less scary but still seasonally appropriate (If you have kids, you could also work your way through the breakfast list until bedtime and then treat yourself to something a little spookier once the kids are asleep).
Pour some coffee (or make a Bloody Mary), grab some Buckeye Donuts, and start with one of these films:
- Hocus Pocus
- Addams Family Values
- Casper the Friendly Ghost
- Double Double Toil and Trouble
- Tower of Terror
Usually at this point, I recommend taking a break to do some baking. I’m partial to gluten-free snickerdoodles, but pumpkin anything is also a good idea. Once you’re done baking (and maybe throwing in a load of laundry if you have to be an adult), check the scores of the other games before booting up your next movie.
This is the perfect time to pour a cup of tea, set out a bunch of 90s-ish snacks (Bagel Bites! Pizza Rolls!) and start your second movie. Some recommendations for Round 2:
- Practical Magic
- The Witches (1990)
Nothing on that list is particularly scary unless, like me, Anjelica Huston peeling her whole freaking face off and children being trapped inside paintings traumatized you as a child!
It is good to get out of the house a bit, so after round 2, I like to go for a quick walk, stretch my legs, and hit up the store to buy a pumpkin I can carve later. And then it’s time to get into the first scary movie of the day.
I tend to pick two scary movies (a sample list of some favorites is below) with a break for takeout in between (ramen or thai are my go-tos for scary movie night). If you’re drinking, it’s time to pour the red wine. If you need inspiration, here are a few of my favorites:
- Halloween (Has anyone tried giving Michael Myers a hug? I maintain that it would work)
- Get Out
- Suspiria (1978)
- The Shining
And finally, I recommend ending your Saturday by carving a pumpkin like the ~basic~ person you know you are at heart while watching some ridiculous 80s nonsense. My go-tos for this portion of the night (especially if I’ve been imbibing) are Hobgoblins (a low-budget knockoff of Gremlins in which tiny little demonic furballs escape from a film studio vault and go on a rampage) and Chopping Mall (security robots go off the rails and start killing teenagers who are locked in a shopping mall overnight).
These movie lists are by no means comprehensive, and it would be impossible to get through all of them in one Saturday. They are merely a good starting point for people who don’t have go-to favorites already picked out.
A Saturday without Buckeye football is a lot easier to survive when you can stay cozy on the couch and get ready for Halloween.
So what are you waiting for? Toss some cookies in the oven, light an autumnal candle, order some of your favorite takeout, and maybe pick up a pumpkin to carve while you watch some spooky movies.
Matt’s Take: Binge “Only Murders in the Building” on Hulu
Being the movie buff that she is, Jami’s pick is very on brand, especially as Ohio State’s off week falls squarely in the middle of spooky season. But, there are other autumnal options for how you could spend your Saturday that don’t involve either football or ghosts, goblins, or jump scares.
There is the always Instagrammable apple picking (just make sure that you wear the activity’s approved uniform, flannel, when you go), you could go to a corn maze or on a hayride, you could pick out pumpkins and carve them, or you could go to a haunted house. All perfectly enjoyable and acceptable options during these crisp fall months. But, I am going to suggest that you do something completely unrelated to either college football, spooky season, or autumn. I am going to suggest that you binge-watch the Hulu murder mystery comedy series “Only Murders in the Building.”
The Season 1 finale drops at 12 a.m. ET on Tuesday morning, so Ohio State not having a football game on Saturday means that you have plenty of time to watch the first nine episodes so that you are ready to go in time for the finale. And what’s great about binging this show is that since the episodes are all in the ballpark of 30 minutes long, the entire running time (with end credits removed, because I know you’re going to want to skip to the next episode) is just four hours and 33 1⁄2 minutes. Hell, given how FOX likes to cram in as many commercials as the FCC will allow, that’s more or less the running time of one college football game anyway.
If you are unfamiliar with “Only Murders in the Building,” it stars Steve Martin (who is also the show’s co-creator), his frequent comedic collaborator Martin Short, and his not-frequent comedic collaborator Selina Gomez.
The three all live in a swanky New York apartment building and are acquaintances at best until there is a murder in the building and they discover that they are all obsessive true crime podcast listeners.
Steve Martin’s character is an actor who played a famous TV detective in the 90s, Martin Short is a theatre director responsible for one of the biggest flops in Broadway history, and Gomez is a young artist living in her aunt’s apartment while it is being remodeled. The three form an unlikely friendship and decide to try and solve the murder and to make a podcast about it as they investigate.
While the Martins (Steve and Short) are known for their broad comedic approaches, they pull it way back in this show and find ways to pepper in their specific styles of zany to provide a more realistic humor. Gomez — who I have to admit, I am was not super familiar with before this show — is really the glue that holds this show together. Her sandpaper dry delivery is the stuff of my curmudgeonly funny bone’s dreams.
The show has elements of “How to Get Away with Murder’s” disjointed, mystery narrative, some of “Jane the Virgin’s” magical realism, a little bit of “30 Rock’s” loving parodying (Tina Fey is also featured in a handful of episodes), and some of the most compelling storytelling decisions I’ve seen in a long time; what they did in episode 7, “The Boy from 6B,” was truly breathtaking from my perspective.
Admittedly, your mileage may very on this one. Firstly, because it’s not a sitcom, so you aren’t getting a joke a minute. You might get two or three legit LOLs per episode, but everything else remarkably creative and the main characters (especially Gomez and Steve Martin) are insanely endearing.
Secondly, I’m not 100% sure that this show wasn’t custom made for me. My day job is as a producer and editor for what is perhaps the most successful true crime comedy podcast in the world and before that I worked in theatre; and this show is packed with theatre stars, in-jokes, and references. So I am absolutely Hulu’s target demo on this one.
So, if you think this sounds like something that you would like, I recommend getting some dips to snack on, sit on the couch, and watch four and a half hours worth of compelling, one-of-a-kind television so that you can fully engage with #TVTwitter early on Tuesday morning when the finale finally drops.
Who has the right answer to today’s question?
This poll is closed
Jami: Spooky Movie Marathon
Matt: Binge "Only Murders in the Building"