‘Twas the night before Christmas, and all around The Shoe,
Most everyone was angry, but what can you do?
The season had not gone exactly as planned,
Especially for Coombs, who we all had once staned.
Now people are calling for jobs left and right,
And stressing o’er who will play New Year’s night.
While this doesn’t quite feel like a CFP berth
We’ve still got the best college offense on earth.
When out in LA, the Buckeyes assemble,
The receivers alone should set Utah atremble.
But we know that a team, an offense won’t make,
So Barnes better make changes for St. Woody’s sake.
With a team that has recently been deemed to be soft,
T’would be gratifying to see them raise trophy aloft.
With Knowles coming in and more changes afoot,
It’d be reassuring to see some defensive output.
With Ryan Day and his staff still somewhat in flux,
I pray that the coach no longer gives any fucks.
“Creative play-calling. Youngsters in the game,”
Is what I hope the coach shouts, calling each by their name:
“Now, C.J.! Now, Trey! Now, Olave and Wilson(?)!
On, Haskell! On, Burke! On, Steele and on Jaxon!
Go play with aggression! Let your athleticism show!
Now kick some ass! Kick some ass! Ready, set, go!”