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Soothe the pain from the Cotton Bowl loss with a little Brutus bobblehead retail therapy

I mean you have to find something to ease the pain from that gaping would cause by OSU’s putrid performance.

Matt Tamanini Matt Tamanini is the co-managing editor of Land-Grant Holy Land having joined the site in 2016.

Look, I get it. The last thing you might want to do right now is think about making any purchases related to the Ohio State football team after that traveshamockery we saw in the Cotton Bowl last night. But hear me out; retail therapy works. It creates a dopamine reaction in the brain that soothes the pathways that deliver pain — both physical and emotional — throughout the body. So, in my scientific opinion, the best thing that you can do to mend your broken heart is to buy a pair of brand-new, limited edition Brutus Buckeye bobbleheads from our friends at FOCO.

Today, they are releasing a pair of new bobbleheads; the first is a Brutus Piggy Bank that features our beloved, nutty arms akimbo guarding a safe presumably full of NIL money that needs to be used to dramatically improve the team’s offensive line.

But what sets this bobblehead apart is that this on serves dual purposes. Not only does it serve as cool collectible harkening back to Scrooge McDuck and Uncle Moneybags from Monopoly, but it is also an actual, fully-functioning piggy bank, encouraging fans of all ages to save so that when their team historically and dramatically disappoints them, they will have money to spend on frivolous things that make them feel better.

The Brutus Piggy Bank Bobblehead stands 8 inches tall and is hand-painted. There are only 144 individually-numbered units available and they retail for $70 so get yours now before 143 other beleaguered and beaten-down Buckeye fans get them first.

Get the Brutus Buckeye Piggy Bank Bobblehead NOW!

But that’s not all. FOCO is also releasing a new Brutus Bighead Bobblehead. What is a Bighead Bobblehead you ask? Well, Bigheads are similar to standard bobbleheads but just with a bigger head!

This allows you to look even deeper into the intricate details hand-painted onto Brutus' face to hide the pain and disappointment that he is feeling following that embarrassing loss to Mizzou on Friday night. This one shows Brutus atop an Ohio State-themed base with his name displayed in front, just in case he is questioning reality following the Cotton Bowl. This 10-inch figure is limited to just 123 figures and is available for $65. Get yours and close that gaping wound in your heart left by the putrid performance last night.

Order your the Brutus Buckeye Big Head Bobblehead NOW!

FOCO has been killing it with Ohio State bobbleheads over the past year. Just last month, they released bobbleheads celebrating C.J. Stroud and Jaxon Smith-Njigba and in October, they dropped a very cool Brutus bobblehead with a hidden version of The Horseshoe. This fall they’ve also released 15 different sport-specific Brutus bobbleheads. Earlier this month, they introduced Snoopy and Charlie Brown Buckeye bobblehead, and in August, they introduced a Brutus training camp bobblehead and for Memorial Day, the company released an “I Want You” Uncle Sam-inspired Brutus bobblehead. Those followed the NFL Draft, when FOCO released figures to celebrate the selections of C.J. Stroud, Paris Johnson Jr., and Jaxon Smith-Njigba. Then, last fall, they released an absolute must-have Brutus “Then and Now” bobblehead featuring the current and original versions of everybody’s favorite poisonous nut!

And in October 2022, to celebrate Halloween, the company released a “Phantom of the Opera-themed bobblehead featuring our boy Brutus in a picture-perfect Spooky Season costume. The company also released a Thanksgiving Day Parade-inspired Brutus bobblehead and a Brutus in Christmas pajamas in front of the fireplace bobblehead. Also, last summer, FOCO released a very snazzy Brutus Buckeye Bighead.

In addition, FOCO just released a pair of bobbleheads to celebrate the 100th anniversary of Ohio Stadium. One features Brutus, while the other shows Woody Hayes strutting above The Horseshoe.

As someone with a borderline unhealthy Ohio State bobblehead/collectible addiction, I can think of no better way to celebrate the final unofficial season before college football than with one (or all) of these magnificent merchandising masterpieces.

And, if actually care about teams other than Ohio State, FOCO has some other college team Peanut options that you might be interested in as well.

If for some reason you think you might need one of these for another school, I guess you can find the right one here.